God has been working in my heart recently, reminding me that I need to have an Eternal Perspective to my life. I have felt like I am stuck in my little Christian bubble. I don't have any real challenges in my life, my faith... other than potty training and bedtime routines that work.
God has told me to have Big Faith. What does that mean? I'm still working on it. But, He's definitely working. He's active in my life. Talking to me, showing me things that I need to work on or do. Some things He's brought up are pretty big- bigger than my little suburban life, that's for sure. I'm trusting Him to work out His will in my life, my husband's life, my children's lives.
I struggle with fear. Fear is my spiritual demon that with one little crack open into my spirit he will come and invade my life- paralyzing me. Things that happen around me cause my very overly-active imagination to go into over-drive. I have always had very vivid dreams. Some that I'm still not sure if they were a dream or if they really happened. I think that's part of why if I imagine something it can overtake me like it does. (still trying to figure out if there's anything good about having that vivid of an imagination) So when things happen to those around me, it gets me going and I have to rely on Jesus to pull me out of "that place" and rest in Him.
Things like my good friend's mom getting in a car accident and still fighting for her life.
Things like my brother being in the hospital for 5 days with his back out, now at home but still in pain and not knowing if the pain will ever go away.
Hearing about a child possibly having leukemia.
And like this morning, hearing that my parent's neighbor's daughter was killed in an accident last night- a girl I lived next door to for 10+ years. My brother & sister-in-law's flower girl.
These things didn't affect me 5 years ago like they do now. Everything's different when you're a mom. I have had to praise God a lot today, focusing on His plan. His ultimate plan. My faith- He wants it to be BIG! I want it to be BIG! I listened to a sermon by Andy Stanley today about pivotal moments and how God uses those to grow our faith. It was a great sermon for me to hear today and I am thankful for it.
I don't want to be afraid to follow God's plan for my life. I want to be open to what He wants and give everything and everyone I have back to Him with open arms. God is good.
Please pray for the Martinez family.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hey Am-
ReplyDeleteI tend to live in fear too. I've had a "golden child" life, with no tragedy, hardly any pain, not even many funerals to attend. I always felt a sense of dread, like "when is MY turn?" "When is that shoe going to drop??" What I'm amazed at is that when the "thing" comes, you're able to get through it. Whether it's my dad's diagnosis or not knowing what Brian's pain future looks like, somehow you're able to wake up in the morning and even have moments of hysterical laughter.
My dad always describes life of a Christian like a camping trip. You live in temporary housing, you're dirty, things aren't overly comfortable and you're roughing it for a while. Finally, you go home where your permanent comfort is.
Stuff around us stinks, but it's temporary...
I can totally relate...
ReplyDelete